I think the last line of the first stanza should rhyme with the second line of the first stanza. It would've given the poem a nicer flow. From my understanding, this poem is about rain? However, I don't understand the heart of it.
The first stanza to me was all happy and sunshine and beautiful then that last line was all random with "Clouds starting to cry" you could have transitioned it better. I could picture everything though so that was good. What i got out of the poem is that the mood/ setting can change out of random in a blink of an eye. And then everything grows silent.
The second stanza through me off a bit. It can show the rapid transition of emotions. Try putting in somethings that we can relate to in our lives. Don't focus so much on the imagery even though its crucial for a good poem. I feel like you focused to much on the imagery.
I think the last line of the first stanza should rhyme with the second line of the first stanza. It would've given the poem a nicer flow. From my understanding, this poem is about rain? However, I don't understand the heart of it.
ReplyDeleteNice images, but it's very short. And I don't really get too much heart out of it. What is the idea?
ReplyDeleteI like the line "Clouds starting to cry."
Personification. Good.
"Daisies dancing in the grass.
ReplyDeleteWind singing with the tree's.
The sun smiling on the roof tops."
It is very short sweet and to the point. I can picture the scene of the weather changing but the only thing is that it is very predictable.
favorite line
ReplyDelete"The sky begins to crackle.
Everything turns dark."
Im guessing this is about how the day starts than ends. It seems like it is a good day than the sun is setting and the day is ending.
Favorite line: Wind singing with the trees.
ReplyDeleteThe first stanza to me was all happy and sunshine and beautiful then that last line was all random with "Clouds starting to cry" you could have transitioned it better. I could picture everything though so that was good. What i got out of the poem is that the mood/ setting can change out of random in a blink of an eye. And then everything grows silent.
The second stanza through me off a bit. It can show the rapid transition of emotions. Try putting in somethings that we can relate to in our lives. Don't focus so much on the imagery even though its crucial for a good poem. I feel like you focused to much on the imagery.
ReplyDeleteFine Day
ReplyDelete"The sky begins to crackle.
Everything turns dark."
It went from light to dark so fast. But, I like the idea of that. How things go away so fast. I could take that as the heart of the poem.